Blog # 51

Freewrite.

So much on my mind.So much in my heart.The tears finally stopped falling,but for how long?I'm lost and confused,and push away any helping hand.Who am I to say I won't mess anything else up?Mad at myself,mad at the world.Want to crawl in a hole,want to be left alone.If I can't make things work with you my dear,I don't want to try with anyone else.I don't know what I did,so before you say goodbye I'd like to know.And please don't express any regret for me heart is already in shreds.I thought you were different.I guess that was the mistake?But before you speak those dreaded words know I'm still yours.Even though I know that you're going to say goodbye,I'm yours.I wish we could go back,back to when it was just you and me.I took for granted that week didn't I?I thought you'd stick around.But I know who and what I am.I know my past,and I know..how much I tend to screw up,but I thought you could handle me.You seemed up to the challenge.I guess we shouldn't have let it get this far,shouldn't have even started.I knew from the beginning I'm no good.You've finally taken off the rose colored glasses and see what's really there.Beyond the pretty face,you see what's there.I'm sorry.